My bike stopped running!

Your bike stopped running. It cranks over but won't catch. Everything looks normal, petcock in on, kill switch is on, lights are on. Nothing changed and it really should be running. Argh! Don't know what to do next?

First thing, always: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GAS! You might think this is obvious. Not so. About once a month I get somebody in here that has no gas, or didn't turn the petcock to reserve. Cost: towing plus the minimum shop rate. Looking in the gas tank is an easy way to check out if you have gas. Make sure you hold your breath: gas fumes are pretty bad for your lungs, and kids, no smoking while you're cap is open either. And beware: if there is a little gas covering the bottom, that might not be enough to start the bike.

Next: CHECK YOUR FUSES! Inspect them, make sure the little filament is not broken, and move them back and forth in their sockets (if they are glass fuses), or in and out (if they are plastic) to make sure that there isn't any corrosion that hinders the juice from going where it's supposed to go. Clean suspect contacts by scratching off the corrosion (e.g. your keys, nail file, clippers or whatever else your pant pockets will produce).

If that doesn't do the trick: try bump starting the bike. Have a friend push you, put it in second gear, pop the clutch when you reached about 10 mph or so. But please, make sure you wear your gear and a helmet. If the bike still won't start the rear tire will lock up, and if you are not fast enough pulling the clutch back in, you WILL crash. So caution, best is to have somebody do it that has a little experience.

But experience doesn't always shield you from doing stupid things:
I had a boyfriend once, that had experience, but didn't wear a helmet, trying to bump start a motorcycle sidesaddle. The bike started, stalled again, and bucked him off like a bronco. He couldn't remember his mother's name for a while, not did he know who the president was (which is something that a lot of us would like to be able forget right now, so maybe that is a good thing). He got himself a real good concussion. Fortunately, he didn't crack his head open. So wear a helmet. Thanks.

If your bike still doesn't start, it's time for more serious diagnosing. But don't be afraid: there are a lot of little things you can do with very little tools. Keep posted!